The coronavirus doesn’t take a holiday just because it’s sunny (Pandemic Journal: April 8)

Sunny day: these people appear to be practising social distancing but they’re among a select few.

“When’s Greggs going to be back open?” stepdaughter just asked.

She is missing the comforts of the savoury food counters.

But apparently the chain is doing its best: it has posted the recipe for its sausage, bean and cheese melt online!

Mrs Mike was no help; she thought Greggs was open yesterday because people were standing two metres apart, all the way up the street from the shop. In fact they were queuing for the chemist.

It’s a beautiful day and from the internet chatter we appear to be among the few people who are actually following the government’s orders and self-isolating.

I’ll give you an example from one of the chats I’ve got ongoing at the moment:

“FFS! R— went to the garage to get milk and he said there’s loads of cars and loads of people!

“We just want to go get it [shopping] done and come home. If you don’t hear from me later it’s because I’ve been arrested for making someone aware of what personal space is.

“Best drink my coffee.”

“Save the coffee, put it in a Thermos and take it in case you need to throw it on someone.”

I wouldn’t blame them if they did.

I mean, what is wrong with these people?

The coronavirus doesn’t take a holiday just because it’s sunny!

1,001 Songs number nine: Over The Rainbow by Judy Garland (The Sivier Review)

I HATED ‘The Wizard of Oz‘ when I was a kid – probably because it seems to be such a mixed message.

Has anybody listened – really listened to the lyrics of this song?

“Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue, and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true” – the implication, of course, being that you have to be in a fantasy world for that to happen; the real world will grind all your dreams to dust. This is a song about desperation.

“Someday I’ll wish upon a star,” sing Garland – not in response to the Walt Disney company’s signature song, although this would be a perfect answer to the “everything’ll have a happy ending”-ness of the Disney films.

And, as the book (1,001 Songs You Must Hear Before You Die) points out, the song fits as a metaphor for the life of its best-known singer: “Her whole life… seemed to fit this beautiful little child’s song that had colour and gaiety and beauty and hope… and yet she was so hopeless.”

All of these make ‘Over the Rainbow‘ one of the gold-plated classics of popular music, and a song that should bring a tear to the eye – not from some phony, schmaltzy sentimentality but because we have all tasted the genuine disillusionment that lies behind it.

1,001 Songs number eight: Brother, Can You Spare a Dime? by Bing Crosby (The Sivier Review)

American Socialism – and hardly surprising, considering this was recorded in 1932, in the midst of the Great Depression after the Wall Street Crash.

The music and lyrics exude quality and this is a song that might easily be covered in modern times – in fact, the late George Michael did just that.

1.001 Songs number seven: Can the Circle Be Unbroken (By and By) by the Carter Family (The Sivier Review)

If I wanted to be charitable, I’d say this was the prototype for every Country song ever written.

If I wanted to be UNcharitable, I’d say this was every Country song ever written.

1,001 Songs number six: Hula Girl by Sol Hoopii (The Sivier Review)

You can imagine this being the background music to an adventurous Laurel and Hardy short or a Marx Brothers movie; very much of its time.

The longer this goes on, the worse the aftermath (Pandemic Journal: April 7)

Pandemic humour: images like this are springing up all over the internet.

I’m starting to hear rumours about the state of the country after the lockdown is over and people try to resume normal life. It isnt encouraging.

One of these rumours is that one of the biggest employers in my small town will be unable to sustain itself longer than three months.

With the government saying that the lockdown is likely to be extended into May, it seems increasingly likely that this deadline will be reached and passed – meaning this very large firm will go bust and around 100 workers will be going to the Job Centre instead of back to work.

(Or, more likely, they’ll be remaining at home but on the telephone or internet, applying for Universal Credit, God help them.)

I don’t think it will happen, though.

Remember 2008, when the banks all failed because fatcat investment speculators all bet on the most unsafe financial packages on the market at the time?

The government bailed them all out – and then the government that came after forced working people to pay for the bailout (rather than those who were responsible).

I reckon we’ll see something similar after the lockdown.

It will be “business as usual”.

One element of the situation that isn’t “business as usual” is the plight of our prime minister.

After months of cavalier nonchalance in the face of the pandemic, Boris Johnson is now facing the consequences of his actions.

He championed the idea of “herd immunity” – forcing the populace to “take it on the chin” and get infected, in order to build up a resistance to the disease among the general population – until his advisors made it clear to him that this meant the National Health Service would be overrun with coronavirus hospital admissions.

He merrily claimed that he was still shaking the hands of Covid-19 sufferers when he visited them in hospital.

And then he ignored his own government’s orders on how to stay safe. I’m not saying he didn’t wash his hands afterwards, but we don’t know how well he did it. Did he touch his face?

And why wasn’t he observing social distancing rules and staying two metres away from everyone else?

And now he is in hospital himself, in an intensive care unit. As a “precaution”.

Some have tried to use his illness as a chance to drum up sympathy for Johnson and his government, with Twitter hashtags springing up like #PrayForBoris and #GetWellBoris.

Others have gone the other way, berating him for his silly behaviour or making his illness into a joke.

For example: remember last week, when he announced he would be sending out a letter to every UK household – at a cost of £5.8 million – telling us what we’re being told to do to fight the disease?

He would have had the coronavirus already (it can be in a host body for up to 14 days before the symptoms show), meaning it was possible for a wit to create this:

(Of course he won’t have licked all the envelopes. He won’t have touched the printed letters at all. But it’s a good comment on his attitude to the virus.)

I said in an article on Vox Political that he won’t be the first UK prime minister to die of stupidity – and I could have added “even though he probably deserves to be”.

He is receiving the best possible care – which is more than can be said for older and more vulnerable people who have been told to sign away their right to treatment and wait for death.

I actually received Johnson’s letter yesterday (April 6) – a week after it was announced. All the information in it was out of date.

It did contain an admission that the lockdown is entirely intended to slow the progress of the coronavirus through the population because the NHS has been so badly starved of resources by Johnson’s Conservative government that it would not be able to cope with the volume of patients if it was allowed to spread unchecked.

Will this mean a better-funded health service in the future? Probably not.

In fact, the Johnsons of this world are more likely, perversely, to claim that a private health system would be better-able to handle such a situation.

I look across the Atlantic to where Donald Trump is desperately stealing shipments of ventilators intended for Canada and other countries, and I have a doubt about that.

1,001 Songs number five: Mal Hombre by Lydia Mendoza (The Sivier Review)

It’s in Spanish – and, it being 33 years since I took my ‘O’ level in that subject, I can only pick out the odd word (the title means ‘Bad Man’, for example).

Apparently it’s about a ruthless womaniser – a subject that returns to pop music time and time again.

It’s a style of music that has been done to death since – you can imagine the female stars of old westerns singing this in the middle of the movie when everybody needs a break to relieve themselves of the drink they had at the start and to buy another.

But that’s what trendsetters do – they start fashions that sadly turn into cliches.

Apparently Lydia Mendoza was a genius on the 12-string guitar. Jimmy Page, eat your heart out!

1,001 Songs number four: St James Infirmary Blues by Louis Armstrong (The Sivier Review)

I was already familiar with this song from the Hugh Laurie version, which (naturally enough for a pianist) relies on a strong piano part.

This is Louis Armstrong in the 1920s and it is terrific.

(I love Louis Armstrong’s music. Can you tell?)

1,001 Songs number three: Hellhound on my Trail by Robert Johnson (The Sivier Review)

The myth is that Johnson sold his soul to the devil in exchange for mastery of the blues.

On the basis of this song, he should have contacted trading standards and complained about false advertising.

The music is basic to the point of nonexistence, the lyrics are a rambling mess, and the vocals make it seem as though the hellhound of the title has actually caught up with him and is biting him in the scrotum.

1,001 Songs number two: St Louis Blues by Bessie Smith (The Sivier Review)

A recording so old (1925) you can hardly understand a single word she’s singing.

That said, it’s proper blues and Louis Armstrong’s cornet accompaniment is terrific if you like that sort of thing (and I do).