Pride's Purge

(satire?)

An official investigation into a political cover-up of child abuse by senior politicians in the 1980s has been delayed indefinitely after experts warned there was a danger of raw sewage coming into contact with the fan system belonging to an air conditioning unit in the Houses of Parliament if the probe goes ahead.

Government ministers are reluctant to give in to demands for a public inquiry into alleged VIP paedophile activity after fears that Westminster could become engulfed in a deep quagmire of foul-smelling effluent as a result of an investigation.

Experts say the ancient infrastructure of the sewage system at Westminster – which for centuries has held back large amounts of excrement from coming into contact with leading MPs – is in danger of collapse if the Home Secretary Theresa May agreed to explain how the Home Office lost or destroyed more than 100 files related to accusations of organised paedophilia at Westminster.

However, authorities have assured the public that emergency supplies of…

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