You can picture the debates among UKIP members now, can’t you?
“I’m sure that many members are more than happy to see UKIP stand on dog poop – but this stuff about fixing potholes and emptying bins sounds dangerously like a lot of bolshie communism to me!”
“[Bleating from other members.]”

Pride's Purge

(satire?)

After the party’s stunning successes in the local elections, the United Kingdom Independence Party has vowed to forcibly take back control of fixing potholes from Brussels and ensure Britain’s bins will be emptied without interference from the bureaucratic tyranny of European Directives.

UKIP’s announcements come after the party also pledged to ensure more restrictions on the number of immigrants allowed to use playground facilities such as swings and slides in public parks along with a concrete pledge to ban access to climbing frames and roundabouts for more recent European Union arrivals including Romanians and Bulgarians.

And in an uncompromising and triumphant interview with the BBC, party leader Nigel Farage promised to cause a political “earthquake” by ensuring dog poop would be removed from pavements without hindrance from unelected European bureaucrats.

In response to the success of UKIP, local Conservative Party leaders have promised to listen more to the concerns of voters and announced that their councillors would from now on fight…

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