Pride's Purge

(satire?)

Despite controversies over the Olympics and two separate ongoing Serious Fraud Office investigations, the coalition government has announced security company G4S is to take over all UK Christmas present delivery services from Santa.

The scandal-ridden group, which admitted its failure to provide enough staff for the London Olympics was a “humiliating shambles” and is now embroiled in Serious Fraud Office probes into both its contract for tagging criminals and its welfare-to-work contract, is to take over the Christmas Day delivery contract which has historically been provided by Finnish company Santa Claus.

G4S is expected to bring new technology to the delivery of Christmas presents across the UK, with a fleet of 20 specially-adapted brand new Peugeot Boxer vans with GPS replacing the more traditional magic flying reindeers and a team of 150 highly-trained unemployed workfare ‘volunteers’ ready to climb down chimneys and hand-deliver presents to every child in every…

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